Season’s
Greetings to all from the hens of Country Hen Farm!
The humans on this farm have dubbed me with the name Priscilla Bradford, of
all things. I have been told my name
commemorates some event in human history where people reportedly came to this
country by riding on something called a Mayflower. I don’t believe a word of
that nonsense though. Humans have the strangest imaginations! I have never seen
a flower in any month that anything bigger than a bee could perch upon. So I
believe this story is the same manner of fictitious nonsense that spurred the
hullabaloo with Esther Bonnie’s name. Some poor confused human made up this
fairy tale about riding a Mayflower as an excuse to give me a preposterously
unpronounceable name! Have you ever
tried to pronounce the letters “P” or “B” without using your lips? Now try
saying the letter “S” without any teeth. There, now you can appreciate how
difficult it is for chickens to say my name. It is quite a strain on the beak.
Esther Bonnie has asked me to cover some of her spokeschicken duties for
her while she does some investigative research on another strange human phenomenon
we have recently heard about. Something called “Holidays” whatever that might
be. I must admit that I am not as well versed with translating human language into
Chickenese as Esther is. She heard some of the humans talking about making egg
nog and taking time off to celebrate a “long holiday weekend” and she was determined
to find out what this is all about. She told me and the other girls that she
was going to have to experience this first hand before she’d be able to explain
what it is to the rest of us. I certainly hope she does not work too hard at
this!
While we may not truly grasp much about human behavior, we do wish to share
the festive spirit they eggsibit during this time of year. Naturally we strive
to be poultritically correct in all things and so Esther has asked me to wish
all of your humans glad tidings throughout the eggsentric eggstravaganza’s you
celebrate even though we do not fully understand the meaning of Holidays we all
hope you have very happy ones and that you and yours continue to enjoy our
exceptional eggs in good health always.
Sincerely,
ΨΨ
Priscilla Bradford
